[Skybird]

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

Actually, this has not changed my opinion one bit, I already felt like you are beginning to feel.

Not just since these days, but since one year, I saw myself in need to change a damn lot of my opinions that I held in earlier years for so long. To think how well-meaning I once thought of Islamic culture ten years ago and during my "time of travellings", and compare it to today makes me wonder if I am really the same person anymore.

I have ended my adventure time, I have a more indiffrent attitude to some things that in earlier years were important to me, and I do not pay so much attention anymore to what people think about me. I assume this culminated in an effect that equals that of stepping back from a big puzzle I was working on for years - and from theat greater perspective all the isolated details suddenly fell into their right places all by themselves, revealing the overall picture. Seen that way, I have not wasted time and did nothing wrong - i reached the final goal that was to be acchieved.

Years ago I was more tolerant and of good will and intention towards islam. but that was before I somewhat completed to combine personal experinces in foreign locations with academical knowledge. the latter let the first appear in different light since one year now, or longer. Also, some contradictory memories of events during travelling - today suddenly make sense. Unfortunately, all these changes in my perception of Islam are for the worse, not for the better. When I think of Iran, which I once held some hope for, I feel dissapointed, and not just because of Ahmadinejadh (whom I do not expect to become a lasting figure on the political stage).

I changed from Paulus to Saulus, it seems. I do not like it, but let's face it - I have turned into a hardliner towards Islam. Hurts my ego to admit that I had follies on my mind, but makes me feel better in my no longer twosplit attitude. Like a relief. Don't trying to be a nice guy anymore. They want the hard way of playing - okay with me. that game can be played by both sides.

I also have re-read the better part of my literature on Islam during last year. Much of it seemed to be completely new books to me. Memories from my travellings are now feeding back into the intellectual input. I think, growing age also has somethign to do with it.

I think we are heading for severe turbulence. Which is a chance to see what in our setup is solid, and what is weak.