I don't like Sigeric ruining my property with his armies. They didn't even wipe their feet before trampling over my fields. I send Gebetto and the boys to teach him a lesson about respect.
The new king reminds me of someone I once saw in a market fair gypsy's crystall ball. He spoke in very loud voice, waved his hands frantically and most he ever said was...
That's it, if he starts invading Poland, I'm out of here!
Then again, he may have a point. Some bloody peasants are not respecting my authoritah, and I need to go hit them with a big stick again.
What? This nonsense again? First he plots to claim my Duchy...
...And right after that begs for my help because he is getting his ass kicked by the the new King for not respecting the...aw, whatever!
Not that I wouldn't admire his skill at being a magnificent backstabbing bastard, but all the same I can't stop wondering if his idiocy knows any bounds.
Did he really forget that
I'm the capo di tutti capi here, and when I for once have a
legal claim on his lands, there is no reason not to use it when he can't hide behind the King's back anymore.
But as has happened in my family's history before, the Englishmen get there first. They let us roast some sausage on their campfire when we arrive.
Bah, whatever, it was a stupid war anyway.
I have better things to do anyway. Like finally getting married with my Edith, so she can start making babies for me.
The civil war ends quickly and the rebellious Earl Eanfrith of Ulster is thrown into King Wealtheof's dungeon.
I go visit him there. He spits on my face and says "bring it on!" Apparently the fact that the King just threw him in jail doesn't stop him from thinking we are at war and that he is winning.
Fine. We'll just go burn his mead storages then. That should do it.
Nothing like good old offspring making to relieve excess stress from stupid no good wars.
Nine months later I'm a happy father again. Edith and I think Ciro would be a good name for the future Duke of Manyplaces in Scotland. But after a few drinks we agree that Loo would be much more hilarious for the future historians, so Loo it is.
And as for Edith, I don't need her anymore when there are so many unmarried heiresses in the world waiting for me.