But my work is still not done! Just as I open a bottle of imported wine to celebrate my victory over the Munsterian infants, my spies inform me that I missed one. Apparently it's the current Duke's grand daughter. Yeah, it seems one of his imbecile sons managed to get laid before I started killing them.
I could just marry her and be done with it, but breaking my betrothal to the current girl might look a little suspicious after her brothers have started dying left and right. Better just do this the old fashion way before someone else bangs her and ruins all my plans.
Some people in the court of Munster are now against the idea, even though they supported killing the brothers. They say this is different, and I agree. The girl hasn't annoyed half as many people, since she doesn't have a slingshot.
But as we already know: when it comes to relatives...
...Moral is all relative.
This brat doesn't want to play pillow war, saying she'll get boy germs from it. So instead we ask her to come see great sights from the castle walls. There, good girl. Just a few steps further. Further, you must reach really close to the edge to get the best views. Just a few more steps and...
Happy landings dear girl-who-could-have-been-pretty-cool-wife-too.
There. My dear future wife has inherited the duchy of Munster. The news have just reached me that my dear father-in-law died of depression. I mourn for whole evening and truly wonder what might have caused him to sink into such desperate state. Truly, he was like my own father to me. I despised of him just as much at least.
Back home, my now eldest son Benedetto has reached the tender age of 6 and needs a mentor. I can't have that stupid brat asking out loud questions like "daddy, why did you kill my best friend again", so I decide to hire some random moron to tutor him.
This guy was the most promising one. He speaks with very weird accent, but I'm sure he'll do just fine.
I can't be bothered with him. A tournament is taking place again, and the sister of my former wife is watching! My manly honor demands I need to attend in order to flirt her.
I beat up all my paid opponents like we agreed, and my lady has finally seen what kind of man I really am. Um, wait, no, that's what I don't want her to see. But you get the point and I get the kiss, so everyone wins. Even the families of those I had to kill just for show.
On the more national scale, King Sigeric has decided to go kill some Scotts again. It seems to be sort of a hobby to him.
While Sigeric is away chasing the skirt wearing beard faces, me and bunch of my noble friends decide it would be cool to knock him down a little just for giggles.
That naturally doesn't stop me from flattering his fragile little ego and hoping I'll get showered with nice things again.
Our hilarious plan is overshadowed only by one of my vassal mayors complaining that he pays too much taxes. Heehee, good one. We have a great laugh over it and he leaves my throne room with a glassy stare on his face.
Life really is quite fun around here after all. I mean, my servants keep me amused, and I always get a good laugh for thinking that those other nobles might one day seriously suggest that we'd...
Start a civil war against Sigeric??!! WHAAAAAT??!! So you mean that all the "cut your arm and touch my bleeding wound with it, brother" rituals weren't just because we were drunk like pigs?!