[Crécy]

Chronicles of Northumbria
Reign of a Northumbrian Duke Sigeweard I 'The Builder' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II
(1166-????)
by Grégorie d'Anjou

Sigeweard's rule continued at a leisurely pace. In 1171, King Sigeric I joined the crusade for Jerusalem. I didn't even bother to be excited as I knew Sigeweard would stay in England. And he did. Yes, shocking. Wouldn't have wanted to write about glorious battles against infidels anyway.

In November, 1171 Sigeweard started to suffer from stress. Which is quite an accomplishment from the most laid back man on earth.



In November Sigeweard's daughter reached adulthood. Guess what. She's wrathful. And cruel on top of that. What's up with these Northumbrians...



Also the populace in duchy of Deheubarth started to embrace more and more Saxon culture. Welsh populace by origin, Saxon king and Italian/Saxon Duke. What on earth has happened here in the past?



New year came and went and the uneventful life continued. Well, Sigeweard's nephew complained all the time about everything: "Boo hoo, I'm not married. Boo hoo, I want a county to rule." One thing Eanfirth II did right was to revoke the titles of all vassals and claim everything for himself. Even Weard agrees. Rest of 1173 was as eventful as all the years before. Crusade for Jerusalem failed, Sigeweard's mother passed away and more claims were fabricated for King Sigeric I by Weard.

Then came 1173 and something interesting happened. Sigeweard found out that he had a weak claim on a county in Italy - which was part of the Papal States -. His messy Italian origins pays off. Except it didn't. Sigeweard just shrugged and said: "Ok."

I HATE THAT GUY!





A bad case of typhoid fever broke out in England in early 1174. Unfortunately Sigeweard's daughter Paola (indeed, more Italians) contracted it.

In March, 1174, King Sigeric I declared war on county of Tyrconnell. Once again the legal ground work was made by Sigeweard. War didn't last on and so King Sigeric I of England had conquered most of Ireland.



In February, 1174, Sigeweard had started to raise Candido 'the pizza delivery guy' by himself. For some reason Candido wasn't with his mother in Leicester. Which, at this point I find very unfortunate. Well, it wasn't long until Sigeweard managed to make Candido gluttonous (I assume Sigeweard let Candido eat all the pizzas he ought to have delivered)



In late 1174, grim news reached my ears. My dear friend and Court Chaplain of Deheubarth, Bishop Alan passed away. Even more grim news reached my ears after that. Sigeweard named a man known as 'the impaler' as his new Court Chaplain. I wonder what floats in the head of a man who hires a Court Chaplain which likes to impale stuff. Guess our beloved Duke was too stressful to actually concentrate on choosing a decent Court Chaplain.



Something pleasant happened in May, 1175. Sigeweard did something right. He had taught his Italian 'pizza delivery guy' son Candido to be a proper saxon! Fat one, though.



In May 29, 1175, Duke Sigeweard I of Deheubarth finally passed away at age of 42 due to a severe stress (Really? Really?) and he was succeeded by his Italian son Andrea I 'Fabio' of Deheubarth.





Andrea (who is possessed by the way) will be eventually succeded by his clearly Italian son Abbondio (or something like that). Where do these Italians come from!?

Thus endeth the reign of Duke Sigeweard I 'the maniacal builder and the lord of boredom, unfruitfulness and unproductivity and awesome moustaches' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II. The building stuff and the superb mustaches were his all accomplishments. Really. (Well, I suppose he made the conquest of Ireland possible, but that's irrelevant. Ireland isn't that important.)

Damn I hope that Italian fella Andre doesn't force me to write his chronicles... I suspect he reigns as unbelievably leisurely as his father did. As befits for a man with Italian lineage. Better limp off before he catches me...