Yea mod lists can vary quite a bit. On thing of course is you computer. I'm playing on a two year old HP laptop that works well but there are some mods that cause problems so I can't use them.
Since joining Subsim about a year ago I have put this mod soup together which works on my machine with no problems and gives me the game play I like. I am very happy with it.
GWX - 16km Atmosphere
GWX - Enhanced Damage Effects
GWX - Late War Sensors Snorkel Antennas
GWX - Open Hatch Mod
GWX-TA - Various ClothesHatsFaces and Skilled start Crew
1.4b Assisted Plotting Mod
Depthcharge Shake v2.01
KB's Diesel Sound Mod
Longer Repair Times 2.04 (All)
Longer_Wakes_for_all
New_clearsky_clouds
OLC's Modified Searchlight Beams for GWX3
OLC 'Gold' MkII ~ Flat Sun Fix
Searchlights_Removed
Spirit of machines
Torpedo damage Final
Real Depth Charge
Wooden_Lifeboats_Mod_1.1
Waterstream+Exhaust Combi V2.3 for GWX3
WB's Mission Orders Lite v1.1
OLC GUI 1.2.7 Core Files
Draggable Stopwatch for OLC 1.27
I also use SH3 Commander and Sqweetis' SH3 Weather 1.5 as external tools to enhance game play.
And I'm always looking for new mods to try. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
My advice is to take your time and enjoy the mod collecting as much as the game playing.