CHAPTER 2: FIRST BLOOD
Huh? Before I realize it, no cutscene, no nothing, I'm in a secret bunker and this loudspeaker with a horrible German accented English is telling me I'm now a squad leader of some group whose name I can't even pronounce. And what's more, they didn't even let me change my clothes!
Well, at least it knows the famous German politeness. That's something, I guess.
I get a piece of paper with a secret mission. Or maybe it's not secret, but since I can't understand a word of it, it definitely isn't sharing its mysteries with me.
I'm also told that I should hire some help for this and the future secret missions. So I go through the files and pick up this sniper called Klaus, who apparently thinks that having only 50 % field of vision somehow makes him more effective at spotting things...
Then this robe wearing Ahmad with a big gun who can mostly say "me like shoot!" Good enough for me.
Well at least some people seem half reasonable in here. I have always had a thing for nurses. Especially single nurses, who have recently lost their spouses in the Eastern front. So Dani gets hired despite of her stupid name...
And since every good action team needs a red head, this Irish chick called Holly also joins the team. I don't care what she actually can do, as long as she excels at one thing! She gets the job as soon as I confirm her marital status as single. You know, so that I don't have to write one of those awkward letters in case she dies. Duty first, I say!
Finally there is this huge oaf who speaks some incomprehensible gibberish, but fortunately spares me from the most of it and just grunts single words every now and then. His name is Pälli or something. I think he said he's from England. Must be Manchester...
OK, you sorry bunch of retards! Let's go win the war! Or something, I guess...
We first get shipped to Northern England. I take a board shield with me in case any of the locals are going to start swinging claymores at my face.
Our goal is to capture a British commander, residing in a pictoresque little hamlet, which also happens to be a super secret command post. Sheesh, who would have guessed? It's not like we could have ever found this place if we hadn't followed the"keep out!" signs they had posted everywhere along the road. Not after that Elli or whatever his name was ate our map for supper.
I'm no expert of being a British officer, but I suppose the large building with the Union Jack hanging on it would be a good place to start.
Right opposite to it is a little apartment block that might be useful for covering the street if we are forced into a firefight.
Then there is this little pub, tactically completely useless for us, and I wouldn't touch that moose urine the Britons call beer even if forced with a gun.
So I'm coming up with a plan, OK. Holly and Mölli secure our flanks. I want Holly on the left and that Manchester grunt on the right. As far away as possible, please. Dani supports Holly. I support them both. Oh yes, very closely. Klaus and Ahmad will form the backbone of our assault and...
...Aaaand no one is listening to me, are they? Great. Just great.