[Jimbuna]

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. Newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little basteward
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES .
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog... Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED .
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

And the WINNER is...
FOR SALE BY OWNER .
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,
45 volumes.
Excellent condition.....£200 or best offer.
No longer needed; got married last month.
Wife knows everything!