SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - View Single Post

Gut Wrench · 09-11-12, 12:36 AM

MONKEY SPANKING
Week 1 and the slap is on.

Week One in the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football. This edition is coming to you live from Section 105, Row H of the Oakland Coliseum, where my seat is carved with the words "Neal Stevens is no longer here". Yes, from the bowels of the Black Hole, we bring you all the highlights of suspense of the first week in the race to the Torpedo Bowl...right after this very important announcement.

DONATE TO SUBSIM.

And now back to the less important stuff.

Mark it down right now folks, week 1 has upset the apple cart with a couple of upsets, a thriller, and the question of "how high can an Australian go?" Not very far if you're the Tarjackistan Torpedos.

The Torpedoes played away in their very first game of the Subsim Fantasy League, and after much ::cough::: conjecture about their picks in the draft. Trajack showed he meant business with QB Michael Vick rolling into town to meet the Broncolo's. With his second round pick of David Akers (a kicker) Tarjack showed he has some fight in him as he stacked an impressive first game appearance. The Broncolos though, with QB Drew Brees and TE Rob Gronkowski were having no part of the Tarjack debut putting up a comfortable lead and then controlling it. Final score, Broncolo's 101 - Torpedos 82.

And now down to the monkey business.

All eyes were on the red hot diggety dog favorites, the Wild Boston Terriers, to put a spanking move on the Drunk Monkeys. McBee, resplendent in team colors of purple and orange, drove into town with Matthew Stafford (QB) and Andrew Johnston (WR) leading the attack. After arriving late at half time and the Monkeys already 64 points in front, the Terriers put on a turn to chase the Monkeys down. It was not to be as Gargamel puts the bite on the Terriers 129 - 96.

The thriller, and every week has at least one that needs yet another Monday night rewrite (especially when there are two games on opposite sides of the county) was Every Given Sunday and the Ghost Monkeys on Mookie. I don't know what Mike was thinking, starting Ryan Matthews from the hospital bed but he still managed to put a reasonable score. Mookie, the epitome of .01 point losses, was behind by less than 4 points at the start of the final game. The Monkeys (Ghost version) put all that aside as Darrius Two-Dads needed all of the game before his third reception carried the Ghost Monkeys to an upset win of 86.72 - 85.61

The second thriller of the week belong to two teams who would probably make the play offs - if they weren't playing each other. The Guns of Hochuli (replacements for this week) muscled into town for an all out cat scratching fight. Coach FYC of the Black Cats stood firm and needed all of Monday night for Antonia Gates (WR) to finally run out for a win. Final score Black Cats 100.11 - Guns of Hochuli 96.31

Speaking of running away - how about the Taipans? For the last few years the Reapers have been the bogey team of the Taipans, knocking them out of contention last year for the Torpedo Bowl. This year, the Taipans start strong and just quietly slithered their way through the weekend to put up a monster score of 160.78 to the Reapers 106.06. Will the Taipans be our high score for the year?

A couple of years ago Mr. Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks when based in Cyprus, put up some of the biggest scores seen in any league. Their move to London (why oh why) saw them stumble last year, but this year, they are back against perpetual rivals the Green Beans. Chad and his potent air of Joe Flacco weren't strong enough as the Nighthawks cruised to a comfortable victory of 107 - 81.

So after week 1, here's how the league looks.

Half the teams won, the other half didn't.

Next weeks biggest match will see the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Broncolo's, while Tarjack gets his first home game against the Gunners.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 299 yards passing, 3 passing TD's, 1 rushing TD and 25 yards, for a total of 30.73 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Matt Ryan of the Australian Taipans the Week One MVT.

09-11-12, 12:36 AM	#5
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	MONKEY SPANKING Week 1 and the slap is on. Week One in the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football. This edition is coming to you live from Section 105, Row H of the Oakland Coliseum, where my seat is carved with the words "Neal Stevens is no longer here". Yes, from the bowels of the Black Hole, we bring you all the highlights of suspense of the first week in the race to the Torpedo Bowl...right after this very important announcement. DONATE TO SUBSIM. And now back to the less important stuff. Mark it down right now folks, week 1 has upset the apple cart with a couple of upsets, a thriller, and the question of "how high can an Australian go?" Not very far if you're the Tarjackistan Torpedos. The Torpedoes played away in their very first game of the Subsim Fantasy League, and after much ::cough::: conjecture about their picks in the draft. Trajack showed he meant business with QB Michael Vick rolling into town to meet the Broncolo's. With his second round pick of David Akers (a kicker) Tarjack showed he has some fight in him as he stacked an impressive first game appearance. The Broncolos though, with QB Drew Brees and TE Rob Gronkowski were having no part of the Tarjack debut putting up a comfortable lead and then controlling it. Final score, Broncolo's 101 - Torpedos 82. And now down to the monkey business. All eyes were on the red hot diggety dog favorites, the Wild Boston Terriers, to put a spanking move on the Drunk Monkeys. McBee, resplendent in team colors of purple and orange, drove into town with Matthew Stafford (QB) and Andrew Johnston (WR) leading the attack. After arriving late at half time and the Monkeys already 64 points in front, the Terriers put on a turn to chase the Monkeys down. It was not to be as Gargamel puts the bite on the Terriers 129 - 96. The thriller, and every week has at least one that needs yet another Monday night rewrite (especially when there are two games on opposite sides of the county) was Every Given Sunday and the Ghost Monkeys on Mookie. I don't know what Mike was thinking, starting Ryan Matthews from the hospital bed but he still managed to put a reasonable score. Mookie, the epitome of .01 point losses, was behind by less than 4 points at the start of the final game. The Monkeys (Ghost version) put all that aside as Darrius Two-Dads needed all of the game before his third reception carried the Ghost Monkeys to an upset win of 86.72 - 85.61 The second thriller of the week belong to two teams who would probably make the play offs - if they weren't playing each other. The Guns of Hochuli (replacements for this week) muscled into town for an all out cat scratching fight. Coach FYC of the Black Cats stood firm and needed all of Monday night for Antonia Gates (WR) to finally run out for a win. Final score Black Cats 100.11 - Guns of Hochuli 96.31 Speaking of running away - how about the Taipans? For the last few years the Reapers have been the bogey team of the Taipans, knocking them out of contention last year for the Torpedo Bowl. This year, the Taipans start strong and just quietly slithered their way through the weekend to put up a monster score of 160.78 to the Reapers 106.06. Will the Taipans be our high score for the year? A couple of years ago Mr. Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks when based in Cyprus, put up some of the biggest scores seen in any league. Their move to London (why oh why) saw them stumble last year, but this year, they are back against perpetual rivals the Green Beans. Chad and his potent air of Joe Flacco weren't strong enough as the Nighthawks cruised to a comfortable victory of 107 - 81. So after week 1, here's how the league looks. Half the teams won, the other half didn't. Next weeks biggest match will see the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Broncolo's, while Tarjack gets his first home game against the Gunners. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. For the effort of 299 yards passing, 3 passing TD's, 1 rushing TD and 25 yards, for a total of 30.73 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Matt Ryan of the Australian Taipans the Week One MVT.