No pressure...
Chapter II: A New Dope
It is the year of our lord 1084, and England is at war, mostly with itself. I, Duke Eanfirth I of Deheubarth govern my lands from the fair city of Cardiff in Glamorgan.
My father is now a pile of smouldering ashes, his funeral went well...although somehow his corpse managed to set fire to three of the courtiers. I am the eldest of five of our family, I don't know why I have so many brothers and sisters, Uncle Coenred says it's because my father couldn't keep his trousers up...which is probably true because he was always beating me with his belt...
I have five vassals, and all bar one of them hate me. Well, that's fine, I HATE THEM TOO! One of them hates me more than the others...his name is Gwrgant and he runs Dyfed, I will have to keep an eye on him...
Let's see what my castle holdings are like...
Right, so my father spent more time beating me and my siblings than he did actually build anything. No wonder I only have a handful of coin to my name.
Well, the good news is that I am now of legal age and I have become a Flamboyant Schemer...I wonder where I get that from? Well, time to put that Flamboyance to the test!
When he dies...it will be the most fabulous death! I will make sure of it!
Three months into my rule my mother complains that she is still single, and that her baby producing mechanisms have not be used for too long. I have a rummage through the Dating section of the local newspaper, yes, this guy will do...King Eg- King Ecg, King Ecgbeorth of England.
Wait...my King? My mother is marrying my King?
Well, he's only 8 and she's 34, what could possibly go wrong?
She's obviously lying...
My Marshall dies, and the only suitable replacement is that damned Gwrgant...
Wait...I'm a genius, I'll send him to repress revolts in his own county! That'll surely work! Then while I'm at it, I'll start my own plots there, and fabricate a claim on Powys.
Eanfirth, you're a genius!
I order a fence built around the garden.
Much better...
