Boom! Save file sent, so time to wrap this up with one Sunday super update.
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There is no alternative. Sometimes you just can't make an omelette without killing everyone.
Despite of my best efforts to convince my court of her being stained, no one seemed to take me seriously. This can mean...only that...oh no...
THEY ARE ALL IN LEAGUE WITH THE FISHMEN!!
AAAAAAAAHH!! I'M GOING TO HIDE UNDER THE BED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!
No! Pause! It's not that! Now I know what it is! The reason is my new Welsh county! It's full of Welsh people! Can you imagine?! Where did they come from?! Do they breed under rocks are they born from the swamp gas? No matter!
They can't conspire against me if I throw them all in dungeon!
Better leave no one free, just in case.
My court and my vassals are all in league against me! I must do something! I will spend the money I confisticated from them to hire bunch of random people from the street to take their places!
Argh! They still exist! This one still has a county too! It's mine! Mine, I say! He took it from me when I was sleeping! He bewitched me to sleep walk and sign a parchment of lamb skin with my own blood, the devil! I will get him!
Time to get my drinking buddies together again! Huzaa!
Maaaan, sieging is boring...
But it's worth it! Another Welshman changes his career from a count to the captain of a little wooden box.
Ha! Haha! Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa! It worked! The devils have left!! I won!! Glory be to God who has granted me victory in the battle against my invisible enemies!
Wales is quickly becoming my personal little playground, but there is still lots of work to do. I will not rest before every little devil growing fishman is gone for good and can no longer shave my head while I'm sleeping!
While my glory grows, all sorts of lunatics start coming to my doorstep. Like this one guy covered in knitted wool armor said I should join him in his search for the Holy Grail. I told him I already got one and had the guards kick him out.
Then there is the ambassador of Elfland. Elfland! I do not know where such state is, but clearly it must be hostile to us and therefore its ambassador is an assassin hired to kill me! Guards!
My son is already six years old. He needs a tutor, a mentor, someone to teach him what is right and what is wrong. Clearly I'm the only suitable person, seeing that everyone else is already under the spell of the little red men.
Under the spell or not, they can still pay taxes. Therefore I decide to build them a village directly under my vigilant eyes, so that they won't sacrifice even the smallest part of their harvest to the devilish little bugs living in their tummies.
Bah, how can I rip off the peasants when my stupid brats are bothering me all the time? What do I care about this disabled one is beating up other kids?! At least it's showing some manhood!
Then there is this another one, who thinks religion, history, maths and all that sort of stuff is boring.
Well, I happen to agree. Look at me: I can't do that fancy "spilling" stuff either, and yet I'm a count and those good for nothing monks are rotting in my dungeon.
[Cough] I think all this stress is causing me to [wheeze] have a little cold. It's just a [cough] little flu, nothing to worry about.