And speaking of women, zere is still Ms. Horrible Fashion Sense. She hasn't been around lately, which makes me all ze more sure zat she is just behind ze corner. I decide to lure her to my island too by continuing my evil campaign. Ze first task is to feed ze stuff left behind by Mr. Musclehead to some bulls in Europe.
It didn't work, but I quickly deduce ze reason to be zat by causing trouble in Europe, I only made her happier, since she is from some backwater Marxist hellhole. Zerefore I move my minions to her home area and start by helping one of her communist idols to finally find final sleep.
OK, zat didn't work eizer. Time to take ze gloves off! I didn't want to do zis because even I have some boundaries zat separate my diabolical evilness from world destroying madness. But she didn't leave me any choices.
It took two minutes for her to rush here after ze sacrilege. Just as I had hoped.
What she doesn't know is zat I have already much earlier sent minions to visit her parents and ask zem what is her weak spot. No no no, zere was no violence. A bottle of vodka and a pair of jeans was all zey wanted to spill ze beans.
Ze parents were actually a little too co-operative. It was difficult to stop zem once zey started ranting how zeir little daughter had never loved zem. In fact, ze only one she has ever loved was her cheap communist copy of a Teddy Bear. A Teddy Bear which I zen took hostage in exchange for a carton of cigarettes. A Teddy Bear, wiz which she now has a meeting.
Wizout furzer ado, I order one of my minions to beat ze Teddy up while she watches.
She is tougher zan I expected. Fortunately ze good doctor borrowed us a meat cleaver for zis occasion.
Slice and dice, ze Teddy is down. And ze fact zat I have just witnessed killing a toy wiz a meat cleaver must also be ze lowest point of my career too.
Lowest or not, it worked. Ms. Horrible Fashion Sense bursts into tears and runs away so quickly zat I don't even get ze pleasure of zrowing her out personally. Good. Zat's again one less to worry about.
To celebrate ze victory, I order ze dead Teddy moved into my inner sanctum as a trofy.
Zen zere is still ze Waiter. I have no idea what to do wiz him. He has been my guest for a while now and no form of torture seems to break him. I even tried Lady Gaga and Avril Lavigne, but all for vain. Instead he has broken already a dozen of valet minions wiz his speech style: "I'm hungry. Very hungry. I want food. Good food."
Bah, ze valets are expendable and ze world won't wait! Ze new leader of ze science team has assured me zat zis time ze engine is going to work properly, so I decide to conduct anozer test. Zis time WIZOUT interrupting camera work!
AND NOW, WORLD!
It works! It works even better zan ze last time, burning my minions alive quicker zan anyzing I have come up wiz earlier!!
And ze test was succesful! It burned down so many minions at so high rate zat I'm sure it can take my rocket into ze orbit!
To truly crown my victory, I order ze minions to get me a new zrone. Ze stone statue has proved to be very uncomfortable.
While zey are doing zat, ze rest of ze minions are ordered to build transmitter aerials. It's time to issue my ultimatum to ze world.
Finally! Everyzing is ready! All zose lonely moments in ze inner sanctum were not in vain! All ze rehearsing and rewriting of my evil ultimatum speech was for zis very moment! I have been waiting for zis for so long now! Sitting down in ze TV-studio in my inner sanctum, I start pointing at ze camera and ranting.