And ze final diplomat on ze East Coast of ze United States proves what I have been saying all ze time: money can buy friends.
After getting my middle aged white heterosexual men to all zese high positions, I start planning my future as ze ruler of ze world. I zink I need somezing fancy. A crown maybe. A crown and a big stick full of jewels. Fortunately I don't need to waste my money on zose, when I can just as well pay wiz ze lives of my underlings.
Just for fun, I also tell zem to steal a prototype Jetpack from America while zey are on zeir way back home. I have always wanted to play wiz one of zese. Of course some minions may need to attend test flights first to make sure it's completely safe, but zat's life. Besides, I feel a little bad for not having fed ze ocean's sharks lately.
Well look at zat! Just as soon as ze underlings heard about my plans, one of zem stole zat space suit we stole ages ago from America, zinking it would protect him. And now he is hiding in ze bushes fearing zat someone will take it away from him. Well, ze coward is right!
No one steal from me! But despite my best efforts, he refuses to take it off. I don't want to shoot him eizer, because zat would stain ze unique suit wiz blood. Zerefore we need some special measures to make him see ze error in his ways.
Since he is wearing a protective suit, we can just as well see if it will protect him from ze environmental chamber's pressure. It's all for science. And because I always wanted to use zis machine for somezing of course.
He also meets Berza and ze ozer young members of my garden.
Finally we test if ze suit protects him from ze vats.
After all zis, ze minion agreed to return ze suit to where it belongs. Zen he was escorted to attend ze "How high can ze Jetpack fly when we remove all ze steering equipment" test.
Hmf, it was fun as long as ze minion lasted, but it also reminded me of how non-flying ze rocket has been lately. When asked, ze stupid scientist minions give me poor excuse of ze machine needing an engine to fly anywhere. Just before I shot one of zem, he managed to scream zat zey don't know how to build one.
Bah! Why didn't zey tell me earlier?! Don't just stand zere, go and steal plans zen!!
Zere: "Ze Little Scientist's Rocket Engine Building Set, Complete Wiz Cartoon Plans". Zat should be simple enough for ze smartest of my underlings.
Bwahahahaa! Ze engine is ready to launch ze DoomsDay Device(tm) into ze orbit!
I shall test it personally. And now, World...
Gah!! Why am I always interrupted at moments like zis??! Just as I'm pressing Ze Big Red Button(tm), I'm informed zat zis waiter has arrived to my island to ask if I want my martini shaken or stirred.
For his rude behavior I make him play target to my sharpshooters for a while. And now, World...
GAH!!!!! ISN'T ANYZING SACRED ANYMORE??!! WHAT NOW??!!
I have no idea who zis muscle clown is, but he is seriously annoying me already. I'm too busy to deal wiz him myself, so I just order my minions to teach him what ze term "Superior Firepower" means in practise.
Once he is captured, zough, I become interested to see if he has any brains under all zat meat. And just as I expected, ze answer is no. I have known zis law of ze nature ever since I wasn't accepted to ze school's basketball team at ze age of 7.
Normally I would gloat, but now zere are more important zings to do, so I just order ze minions to dumb him somewhere on ze island and lock ze door. Zey reported he kept mumbling: "I'm NOT expendable! And I'm coming...to...get...you..."
AND NOW, WORLD!