Ugh, Imageshack has gone bonkers on me. I hope this update works as expected. Please report any problems to my inner sanctum's head complaint executive, Herr Luger, and I'll have the minions fix it in no time.
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Zere it is again! Is someone following me?!
No, I can't see anyone.
Probably nozing. Now which channel plays Pokemon again?
Bah! Just as I was deeply concentrated on watching two cute cartoon characters hacking each ozer to pieces, I got a call from SETA. Zey claimed to be worried because my evil organization so far has been "in favor of middle aged white heterosexual males" and zreatened to send zeir legion of lecturers on my island in order to preach about artificial equality.
To prevent zem from doing any harm, I quickly order ze minions to find me a quota gay and bring him here.
Having just committed out of necessity an act zat makes me look somewhat good, I also order zem to continue along ze same line and befriend wiz a reverend wiz lots of money.
Behind ze scenes I strike back. Ze minions are ordered to steal a code breaking machine from Europe so zat I can finally spy on SETA's secret discussion and expose zem to ze world. Zey shall soon learn zat no one zreatens me twice!
However, turns out ze machine does no good. I set it to decode SETA's communication and after five minutes it overheated. Ze error message said: "Logic Circuit failure. Too much nonsensical feminism being called equality in one sentence."
Since it's now just a glorified pocket calculator, I let my minions have it in ze laboratory.
My plan to get rid of zat organization which rivals even my own in evilness may have failed, but my grand plan is going better zan ever. I have decided what kind of DoomsDay Device(tm) I want to build and now it's time to start by constructing a rocket for it. Once ze DoomsDay Device(tm) is in ze orbit, I can strike anywhere I want and ze whole world is forced to fear me!
Ze first fase of ze plan is to have ze minions steal proper materials for ze rocket.
Of course ze fools of justice won't just give zem to me, so I'm putting ze base on alert while ze looting is being conducted.
It's also time to replenish my Cousin Hans population. Zey seem to have very short lifespan for some reason.
And finally it's time to finally get a proper doctor to my base. I chose zis one because he comes wiz his own meat cleavers and on ze top of zat seems like a very positive person. After ze fone conversation, he had just one question: "When can I start? Heeheeheheheheeheheheheeeeeeeee..."
Ze first batch of titanium is already arriving to ze island and minions are carrying it to a safe place.
Meanwhile ze good doctor is checking zat zese armed immigrants are arriving to my island in good healz and not bringing any diseases zat wouldn't benefit my plans of world domination somehow.
Bwahahahaa! Ze first two parts are already constructed! No one can stop me!! Not even traitorous image services trying to silence my glory!!
And here are parts zree and four. Ze logo on ze rocket is a nice touch, I admit.
And finally ze tip of ze rocket has been constructed! I told you it was a good idea to buy this island with a secret rocket crater! We...I mean, I am victorious!!
Once ze rocket is constructed, I move on to somezing more amusing. It has occurred to me zat I have earlier trained a group of diplomats, but zey do nozing except try to bribe each ozer all ze time. And just imagine where ze bribery money is coming from!
Zerefore I decide to make zem work for zeir wage (which I'm going to pay to ze survivors of zis operation retrospectively after I become ze king of ze world. If I remember.) I send zem to infiltrate ze councils of ze world. Since ze forces of justice try to infiltrate my base all ze time, it is only fair zat I return ze favor now. Ze first victim is located in some Souz American backwater country.
Ze second one is my favorite. By infiltrating ze Eastern Block's council, I boz cause problems to ze communists as well as get rid of ze worst agitator in my base.
Time to move furzer to East. I zink ze Internet tinfoil hats were right after all: zere is a conspiracy brewing in Singapore.
I would have preferred to infiltrate France in case of Europe, but zere weren't any open vacancies zere for some reason. zerefore India will have to do.