Yay! I'm rarely happy to be wrong, but this is one of those times. Makes it much easier to keep posting the updates.
- - - - - - -
As ze fysicist died, he mumbled some interesting zings. Turns out my stupid minions haven't been doing zeir homework again, because zey have completely missed zis lovely Excalibur sword in Europe, even when I have given zem hundreds of free job benefit holidays in zere.
After screaming "I WANT IT" and running out of bullets for Luger I sent ze survivors to get ze blade for me.
To go wiz ze sword I also have zem steal zis Samurai Armor from China. zen I can wield ze sword while wearing it when ze obligatory protagonist finally finds his ways to my lair for ze cliche filled final showdown.
Also, my sweet tooz is aching and I find it extremely inconvinient to always carry dozens of wallets wiz me when I want to buy candy. I'm still a little annoyed to ze world's banks for not giving me credit cards anymore.
Fortunately zose lovely Americans have solved my problem again by inventing an unique million dollar bill. Zat's a good start I suppose, so I tell ze minions to grab it too on zeir way back home.
My evil masterfulness has again attracted ze attention of a promising new henchman called Moko. I interviewed him on telefone and most he ever said was "HUR. KILL."
He is perfect!
Of course I am still fair evil master to my minions. ze new henchman has to start from ze bottom like ze rest of us. His first task in my service is to clean zis mess on ze front door.
Ah, my secret admirer is back! I knew she would! ze ladies, zey just can't keep away from me, can zey. No matter how much zey swear and curse at me, zey are always back for more. Hehehe.
I have Moko show her ze room zis time. Unfortunately just as I'm about to go meet her, ozer matters call my attention and I have to order ze minions to entertain our guest wiz music again while I'm gone.
Namely, it seems anozer female is seeking me. So like ze women. When you are alone, no one pays any attention to you. zen when you hook one, zey start fighting for your attention!
I decide to solve ze problem before it grows bigger by using zis cloning chamber I found. If I clone one of me for everyone, zere won't be any unnecessary damage to my property once zings go nuclear.
It is surprisingly difficult even for a genius like me to persuade a minion to do somezing when ze orders end wiz words "and zen you will die." So I change tactics and tell zis construction underling zat he is getting free cake from zat pod.
And so, new me is born. Of course it is not as handsome or as clever as I am, but I suppose it works. Ze machine must be tweaked in ze future to create clones wiz better fashion sense, zough. RED JACKET!! I WOULD NEVER WEAR RED!!!
I am more zan happy to send zat horrible jacket out of my base wiz ze clone to ask what ze my new mysterious admirer wants. As she pulls out ze silenced pistol, ze answer seems obvious: she is a fashion designer.
Ze unnamed woman does a great service to ze world's good taste by shooting my clone. In retrospect red seems handy for hiding unpleasant blood stains, zough.
As much as I like my new admirer's fashion sense, I don't like at all how she is now wandering inside my base wiz her pistol still drawn.
Zerefore it appears our relationship is over.
It's getting crowded in ze fridge. WHEN ARE ZOSE STUPID SCIENCE MINIONS GOING TO BUILD ZE FISH FINGER MACHINE??!!
Ugh, more bad news! I just saw in ze news zat some archaeologists have dug up my long lost relative in Egypt. Knowing my family, it's only a matter of time before he starts showing zem my baby fotos. ZE WHOLE WORLD WILL LAUGH AT ME!!!
I order ze minions on emergency mission to bring him here before any damage is done. As my relative he gets a place of honor in ze freezer right next to Aunt Erika.