Instead of Fort Knox I send Jubei on a mission to Australia to steal me a new toy.
After ze mission I realize zat I actually have no idea what it is zat I just told zem to steal. It cost me 15 minions however, so I decide to keep it. I put it in ze guard room in case some prisoner happens to know what it does.
Zen in Asia zere is zis fancy new piece of clozing zat supposedly makes ze wearer invisible. I don't want my minions to be invisible when I try to order zem around, so I'm going to steal ze prototype before it gets mass produced.
Ze minions claim zey succeeded, but now ze morons forgot where zey put it. Oh well. Someone will stumble on it sooner or later I suppose.
Enough! I can't become ze dictator of ze world by endlessly stealing useless trash. I understand zat I need, no, I DEMAND respect. And respect I will have. I decide to get respect as ze most evil genius of ze world by eliminating ze competition. I start in India where some stubby fat person is playing ze local crime lord.
After some persuasive arguments Mr. Stubby books ze first possible flight to my island to pay me a visit.
Wiz him, however, also come bunch of investigators. For Christ's sake, he calls himself a crime lord and can't even make sure he isn't followed?!
My freezer is getting crowded, but zere is always room for some investigators zere.
Next I conquer Asia by finding ze local PingPongBang crime lord. I send a few valets and a lot of guards zere as my envoy of peace. As I have always said: "Speak softly. And carry a huge arsenal of weaponry."
Finally zere is zis American ganster who also hasn't yet understood zat ze real criminal genius doesn't come from Italy anymore. He too will get a Christmas card from me.
Zere. All ze crime lords have been persuaded to sit around ze same table, which happens to belong to me. Earlier zese people refused to speak to each ozer at all. Oh, ze world loses such a great diplomat in me.
However, consorting wiz crime lords has made a valet minion question his choices in life. He has decided to desert my organization AGAIN! We can't have zat!
I suppose anozer period in special accommodations would do ze trick...
But zen again, special accommodations are expensive. A bullet and a new valet minion are not.
Besides, I need ze special accommodations for Mr. Leonov, a mafia leader from St. Petersburg. He has just recently become curious about our island and how so many famous crime lords seem to end up in here. But he hasn't yet quite understood who is in charge here and zerefore just wanders around my property making idiotic demands.
I am glad to give him ze best room in ze special accommodations, but still he only spouts obscenities at me like only a Russian can.
Zerefore I decide to show him what a nice mixing bowl I have. I am sure he can appreciate ze technology and start understanding my perspective better.
While Nikita isn't watching, I decide to go play on his backyard. I have heard zat ze Russians have interesting new toy, much more effective zan my current ones when it comes to getting your voice heard. Ja! zat is exactly what I need!
Once ze machine is stolen, I place it in ze barracks. If ze minions don't behave, I'll simply turn ze music on.
Being evil genius makes me hungry. Luckily, while having zat last trip to Russia, some of my minions heard zat zere are also plans of creating a new mammoz out of some genemumbojumbo of a dead one. I have no idea how zat works, but mammoz steak sounds good. I order zem to bring me some and while zey're at it, also tamper ze DNA code a little.