After listening to some Michael Jackson he started to understand my point.
And zerefore I now have a trained guard minion. I also bought him some rifles to play wiz.
Zis is ze training room to turn more minions into guards, valets or ozerwise useful personnel. It was expensive, but I had to make ze investment. I can't have Michael Jackson playing all over ze base everytime I want to replace a dead guard.
Right. Everyzing is going as planned, so I decide to send more minions around ze world to take ze next step of my evil masterplan. Bwahahaa!
First of all: I have heard zat ze forces of justice are not all one big happy family, but argue wiz each ozer all ze time. See, zis is why ze world needs me as its dictator.
Since zey are so eager to shovel dirt over each ozer, who am I to argue? Being ze helpful future dictator zat I am, I decide to give ze evening news somezing to report about. "Duck and cover" seems to be ze frase of ze day.
On ze ozer side of ze globe I have learned zat ze local dolfin population is lacking somezing in zeir diet. I love animals. Uncle Adolf loved animals too. So right after helping ze forces of justice in Cuba, I rush to save ze poor animals.
Success! Also: Beeb...beeb...beeb...beeb...
Finally, I am tired at my expensive property breaking all ze time, so I order my minions to find a competent technician to repair my stuff.
Dear, why aren't zese people more co-operative? Can't zey understand zat I am doing zis for zeir own good?! My minions can't be occupied wiz carrying zese potato sacks all ze time around my base! zey drip drool on my floors!!
Oh well. Some more of Herr Jackson's greatest hits earn me a technician minion. His first task is to repair ze loudspeakers so zat zey recognize where I am and won't play ze music zere.
Meanwhile my minions around ze world have completed anozer task. I have always been supporter of free market and having ze state being ze only one who is allowed to print money has always seemed very inconvenient to me. So I decide to help a victim of zis monopoly out of prison in exchange for paper zat is definitely not used in der Monopoly.
Bwhahahaa! Anozer success, zis time in Middle-East. My fellow criminals have had hard time because ze dirty goody two-shoes have spied zem like zey tried spying me wiz zeir maid! Not anymore!! Go free and cause anarchy!!
Zis also officially makes ze world notice me and understand zat I am NOT HARMLESS! I TOLD YOU!! I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES!! NOW YOU REAP WHAT YOU...
WAS??!! MOSTLY HARMLESS??!! WAS IST DAS??!!
YOU WILL SEE! OH YOU WILL!!
Eventually. Right now more important matters call for my attention, as anozer investigator has come to fotograf my kitchen. Donnerwetter, I don't understand zeir fascination in it! Can't zey share zeir fotos or somezing?! It's like my mixing bowl is some sort of tourist trap!!
Very well. If ze investigator wants to see ze mixing bowl...
...We let him see it from close distance. Oh, very close.
Mwahahahaa! To celebrate my latest victories I construct myself zis inner sanctum where I can sit all day, plot and scheme while waiting for ze world to recognize me as zeir rightful dictator. My office has everyzing an aspiring mastermind like me needs. A huge conference table and a smaller table for me to lean on while watching security camera footage from my desk.
But it still feels somehow empty. I know somezing is missing. Somezing to fill ze emptiness inside me. Namely...
Expensive bling-bling!
Ah wunderbar. Ze minions were successful and ze vase looks seht gut in my office. But why is zat dumkopf valet touching it and not going away?
I don't enjoy making mess on my clean floor, but he is blocking my view. I didn't steal zis vase to look a lazy valet's backside!
Ah, much better! Now ze vase is all mine!