TOKYO NICHI NICHI SHIMBUN
Fall 1942----------- BANZAI FOR THE EMPEROR ----------- 14Y
US SOLDIERS RECRUITED TO HELP FEED GOAT POPULATION
The United States Marine Corp has been employed by Imperial Japan to help feed goat herds on the remote island of Santa Cruz. Mistakenly labelled a 'successful invasion' by American propaganda, the goat handlers smuggled weapons onto the island and are now attempting to weaponise the goat herds to use against the peace-loving nation of Japan.
The Emperor has stated that the weaponization of goats is a crime against humanity and all reason and has announced that the Imperial Japanese Navy will deploy immediately to rescue the goats that have been taken hostage and drive the goat-handlers from Santa Cruz.
Meanwhile the Emperor has denied reports that a section of secret service agents were deployed to Egypt in a search for something called "Super-Mega Ultra Chicken", supposedly this 'Chicken' is a rare collectable card which possesses magical powers, but no-one knows anything more than that.