I'm sure I saw someone mention here recently that the 'being followed everywhere by a random destroyer' problem was a stock game bug that was creeping back in... I think that's what the OP is saying... but I can't find the post to link it for the life of me.
To the OP - for the Destroyer problem, I don't think you can do much about it. As Sober says try save/reload and just head away from it until it goes away - it will eventually.
For mod recommendations, Sober's list is a great place to start (it's in his signature). This is my current list, and this order to install works fine for me:
Magnum_Opus_v0_0_1
Magnum_Opus_Patch_2
IRAI_0_0_30_ByTheDarkWraith
IRAI_0_0_30_No_hydrophone_on_surface_No_Aircraft_s potting
FX_Update_0_0_18_ByTheDarkWraith
NewUIs_TDC_6_6_0_ByTheDarkWraith
TheDarkWraith_DC_Water_Disturbances_v2_0_SH5
Shadow Improvement ModLR
Open Horizons II Light
OH II and Light Campaign Radio Messages v3
Dynamic Environment SH5 Basemod (normal ) V2.1
Dynamic Environment SH5 Atlantic Floor V2.1
Dynamic Environment SH5 Sounds V2.1
Dynamic Environment Undersea (mediterranean) V2.1
Dynamic Environment SH5 Sleet For Winter Campaigns V2.1
NOZAURIO'S SKIN (Standar No Emblem) v-1.0.0
Equipment_Upgrades_Fix_1_2_byTheBeast
stoianm upgrade available mod comp Equipment_Upgrades_Fix_1_2_byTheBeast
sobers smaller water drops
Real_Sink_0_0_16_2
TDW_No_Hydrophone_On_Surface_No_Aircraft_Spotting
KZS Hull wetness for U-Boats + co tower and deck
Critical hits 1.1 Torpedos
Critical hits v 1.2
Dynamic Environment SH5 Waves (hurricane version) V2.1
stoianm pitch&roll for SH5 V1 (normal)
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