[CCIP]

Mate, trauma is a tough thing, at any age, but especially from childhood. Don't ignore it and don't keep it to yourself and try to just 'tough it out' - toughing it out works when you just put it aside and temporarily block it out by focusing on the task at hand. But it will always, ALWAYS come back, don't even think it won't. The fact is, even when you've dealt with it and are way better, it's still there - don't get into the mindset that you can erase it, but also don't get into the mindset that it's all there is. It's just another thing in life.

And yeah, it's very hard to appreciate for anyone who's not been through it. And it's not the moments when you're really sad or angry that grind you down in the end - those are actually the moments that can help you get it out. It's the fact that it's there in the back of your mind, ready to set you off, that really gets you.

My biggest piece of advice is a) get help; b) look at your life in terms of the bigger whole - not just that one thing. Relatively recently, I crashed hard on much more recent trauma, and frankly I didn't even realize how bad it was until a couple of years later when I stepped back and was horrified at how much I'd let it dominate my life. The one thing that really helped is several months of counseling, during which a deeper underlying childhood trauma also emerged and helped me understand my current problems much better. But it wasn't like they magically figured out the answer to everything though, nor was there any magic pills or instant realizations involved. What counted was that I got out of the mental block(s) caused by trauma that would send me on a loop and force me to ignore the rest of what my life was really about. And gradually I was able to step back and see the bigger picture - as, as Skybird says, to see and take joy in the present and not past or future.