RedMenace,
there is much truth in what Flaxpants said.
The past is finished. All that counts is the here and now and future to work on. Find yourself in real life a friend or partner you can trust on.
Do not let the past and your bad experiences rule your life for another 19 years; not even for another day.
I am pretty sure that you are on a better way right now.
Edit: Come on... You are nineteen, that is when the real fun starts, make it happen!
danasan
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