Umm you've been suffering a lot and for quite some time from your story.
You need to forgive the people who you resented or still do. You must mean it.[easier said than done I know, I need to forgive some people too. In fact I'm burdened with it first and foremost because God gave me example to follow, secondly because I gave my word in one prayer minister home, that was stupid as it bonded me. What freaked me while doing so the burning candle fire was shifting in and out of space!!! No kidding, it wasn't blowing in and out but shifting in and out of existence/view rapidly and burning up the whole new thick candle in a matter of seconds while the fire shifting in and out of view rapidly in normal size!!!. I wondered if it was God doing it or some other forces. I know the God whom I worship but who knows the God that that prayer minister worships lol, but I have no evidence to the contrary]
I'd say find solace in God. Try praying even if it sounds stupid.
To be truth most people are never that useful. Their usefulness is only as far as filling their own stomach and their family's for their whole lifetime.
No one is really that useful.
I'd also suggest not to try to be something but to be your very self. That is to be a genuine person instead trying to be upbeat or likable.
I sincerely believe everyone is special. That or no one is.
. People are so much alike inside. The way we react, feel. We all want the best out of our time here. I think by being genuine and a good person you'll accomplish much more than trying hard to please or be accepted or being selfish and superficial.