As for number one...
If you "Engage" while on the surface, you will man your deck gun and they will open fire. To bypass this, respond with "maintain" and manually man the deck gun. Then they should not shoot until you go to your binoculars and lock in the target.
You can also tell the deck gun crew to hold fire by using your WO icon, going to the deck gun icon and choosing the hand icon.
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\"Never interrupt an enemy while he is making a mistake...\"
~N. Bonaparte
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