This is the soup I ended up with:
Anti lag
Magnum_Opus_v0_0_1(merged with latest patch)
DBSM_Music_1_0_4
Speech fixes and additions (german version)
Enhanced FunelSmoke1.2_by HanSolo78
NewUIs_TDC_6_5_0_ByTheDarkWraith
NewUIs_TDC_6_5_0_New_radio_messages_German
NewUIs_TDC_6_5_0_Das_Boot_Crew_Mod_by_Illyustrator
FX_Update_0_0_16_2_ByTheDarkWraith
IRAI_0_0_30_ByTheDarkWraith
AirTorpedoes
Krauters Automated Scripts (v5_0_0 compatible)
Kriegsmarine Grid Map for MO and TDW UIs by stoianm
TheDarkWraith_DC_Water_Disturbances_v2_0_SH5
Trevally Automated Scripts v0.5
Wasserbomben_SoundFix_Basic_1.1
U-boat Historical Specifications 1.7 for TDW Mods
Manos Scopes-patch for 16x9
NewUIs_TDC_6_5_0_Real_Navigation
Does it look ok?

I dropped out sub hyd fix and trevallys harbour stuff since it was inside MO
I included airtorpedos since it says it needs latest IRAI. (didn t mention version) and... it was included in both my suggestions.