Since we are all elite U-boat captains I am sure none of us would engage in such a degrading pratice.
Now performing routine work on the periscope shaft would be an entirely different matter!
I can see it now, most of us love to attack at night, no?
"Up scope!"
(a checkout of the issue at hand)
"By god, men we have a good one! By the looks of her stacks she appears to be of the Raquel Welch class! You should see her, just lying there waiting for us. Let's get in close, I want to put one right down the middle. Down scope."
(after a wee while)
"Up scope! She has changed course, OMG, just look at her, such beautiful lines! Let's get closer still...down scope.
(after another wee while)
"OK, it is time. Up scope! We have her boys! She is ours for the taking, just sitting there in her beauty with her running lights on at that. I can see her flag--American...ahh they make such beautiful ships, those yanks, I wish you could see her all ablaze in her charm with all those lights. Heh, I can see the twinkle in her eyes, you might say."
"Benard, ready on tube one, one is all we need at this range, why I can smell her smoke coming out of those steaming funnels it seems, steady, steady, fire on my command".
(Tube 1 fires)
"Benard! Not yet! What have you done? We missed her!"
"Poor Benard", the chief whispers in your ear. "He has always had a problem with premature--"
"Oh my god! You mean..."
"Yes, my captain.
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