[Platapus]

Originally Posted by Takeda Shingen

Guys, it's satire.

You need to check out their weather and sports page.

From their Q/A page

We thought it would be a super great idea to allow our readers to ask us some questions in hopes to bring them closer to God. Of course, like all things, there were some bad apples who asked some atheistic and liberal questions. They were ignored.
Why does Satan always want anal sex?
Satan wants males to crave the act of sin docking in hopes to corrupt and control their souls. This is why Gays are deemed unholy and living, breath devil children. Performing anal sex is a fast ticket to Hellville.
Who is your favourite musician?
Amy Grant. Here voice is of the angels and you can hear her music being played at most of our teen dance events.
Can God make hott vampires exist? Also, where can I get the best croissant in town?
God can create anything he wishes. I doubt he would make a vampire, as they are demonic figures. For your second question, I goto Billy’s Best Bagels on 3rd.
Will there be goldfish crackers in heaven?
The soul does not require food in Heaven. So no, there will be no crackers in heaven.