Kap you old bugger, how's life in sunny Essex?
Well, SHV is out and the opinion is mixed on it, some like it for the graphics, others hate the gameplay and the fact that you only have one type of uboat (Type VII). There was a lot of chaos surrounding Ubisofts famed internet anti-piracy attempt, but now that that has sunk without a trace there's less of it.
But, what you'll be interested in is Placeholder I'd wager. Well, that's an interesting story, a new chap from Sonalysts arrived (fusoya77) and started off a thread called "If Sonalysts made a new game...", which can be found here:
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=177995
(Be sure to put your input in if you haven't already)
Then, a few weeks later, suddenly 'placeholder' arrives, which has lead a lot of people to join the dots, Neal's keeping stum on it, but it's quite exciting news for the modern sim corner of the board and the 'If Sonalysts made a new game...' thread has taken off like a rocket
Another new kid on the block that might interest you is "Naval War: Arctic Circle". Paradox have picked it up to publish it in the western markets, so that's good news, Paradox are good publishers.

Can't really vouch for the realism, but it's set in 2030 so there's some leeway for extra stuff to be thrown in for gameplay that's not too outlandish.
Now, for what you were talking about a modern Destroyer Command...well...you're not alone there, best I could recommend is PT boats, and that's about it at the moment, I think there are probably a few mods about for SHIV and maybe SHIII that give you a battleship, but I can't vouch for how they work. The Schnellboot mod for SHIII was pretty awesome the last time I played it, certainly added a whole new dimension to it.
Perhaps Ubisofts next idea will be a DLC Destroyer campaign for SHV, you just never know...but given the current market, we may have better luck from smaller names than Ubisoft.
Either which way, hope things are going alright for you mate, hang in there.

It's good to see you back.