PART 4: FLANKING MANEUVERS FOR DUMMIES
Whew, that was close. Fortunately some nice farmers gave me a lift to the nearest outpost, where I got rearmed and resupplied. Ha! Lieutenant Doltstein is ready for action again!
From the outpost I requisitioned a Carl Gustav launcher and Private Cannonfodder. I left rest of the people back there, as the next phase of my masterplan requires us to be sneaky. Too many people would attract just unwanted attention.
Here is the plan as I see it. We flank trough that forest to the west. There we get into position on the edge of the woods, overlooking Regina. Private Cannonfodder shall act as my spotter and cover, as I can't carry much ammo with this big antitank weapon on my back.
We spot the tank, turn it into scrap metal and scarper. Then we launch a full scale assault as per original mission plan. Without their tank support the commies should be easy targets.
OK, let's go. Move it, Cannonfodder!
Whew, you'd be surprised how easy it is to get lost in a small forest. Cannonfodder was getting desperate already. I swear he cried "mommy" at one point too when it became too dark to see anything. Bah, soldiers these days. Back when I was in the bootcamp, we made some real men out of those wussies. But enough of that for now. The important thing is that Regina is right there in front of us.
And there is the commies' tin can. He hasn't spotted us.
We go all sneaky like now.
OK, Cannonfodder, are you in position? Cover me, I'll take aim...
I see him. Right on my sight. Say good night, Gracie...and while you're at it, do something to these bloody mosquitoes that keep flying around my head!
Damn mosquitoes. Shoo! Shoo, I say! Get out, I'm on an important mission for the free world! Out! O...oops...
Crap, I missed. Okay, Cannonfodder, fall back! Quick, before he starts wondering where that shot came from!
Cannonfodder...?
Holy cow! There must be a commie sniper somewhere! He must have fired exactly at the same time as I did! Sneaky SOB! OK, hold on, CF! We'll get you back to the field hospital! Hang in there buddy!
Funny, I smell something. Did you soil your pants, Cannonfodder? This smell reminds me of something. Weird thing, Cannonfodder. I'm reminded of apple pie. Like that one time I tried to bake it myself, it smelled just like this...
It even looked like this...
Um, you've always wanted your remains to be cremated under a pine, right CF? Well, now you've got it. So, uh, see you later, I guess. Don't get cold...