Hold on, captain! I'm coming! Lieutenant Doltstein is coming to save the day! Hang on, America!!
Oh shoot, I can't kill the enemies of my country without my trusty assault rifle! Keep hanging, America! I'm coming to save you! I'm coming, I sure am!!
Luckily I borrowed this car yesterday before I left camping! God bless General Motors!!
...The commies want to take our factories and turn them into common property! They want to take our churches and turn them into barns! And do I even need to tell you what they want to turn our women into?!
Lieutenant Doltstein on the way sir! OK, full throttle!!
Stupid tree! Did you have to grow there just today?! I'm in a hurry!!
Man, I should have cleaned the windshield! Are those trucks in front of me? I think they are...
Yeah, they sure look like trucks. Well, they are going to move out of the way. I'm higher ranking than they are.
Or then not. How can these things be in military if they don't recognize ranks?!
Idiots! Didn't you see I had the right of the way?!
Well at least it cleaned the windshield. I think I see our soldiers there on the field. Hold on, sir! I'm coming! Lieutenant Doltstein is coming to save the day!!
Who's that moron standing out of formation?!
...And finally I must be honest with you. This is a very dangerous mission. Not everyone of you is necessarily going to survive this day...
Out of my way, I have a country to save!!
Huff, huff, huff! Man, couldn't they make this gear any lighter?! Well, can't complain. Heroes don't complain!
Lieutenant Doltstein reporting for duty sir!!
...Sir?
Why are you guys just standing there looking right? Here! Look at me! I'm the boss around here! Not you, private Whateveryournameis. That's better! Right people! We have a country to save, so pack your gear and put those trucks over there into good use! We have no time to waste! Move!!!