PART 2: THE FIRST STEPS
So: what do our fields produce at the moment?
Corn...
More corn...
AND YET MORE CORN! What is this?! Luckily for these dumb Tropicans I'm their leader now. So I make them produce something better for the greater glory of me.
Like sugar. Lots of it.
What do you mean "what are you going to eat"? You have sugar, you silly people. Eat cake!
I also decide to build some more farms as well as a bauxite mine while I'm at it.
After that I listen to the people. They tell me how great I am. However, they also whine that they don't want to live in cardboard boxes anymore. So be it. As the servant of the people, I decide to build them a house at least as fine as my own. I put in on the seashore. Nice view and they can fish from their own living rooms if they have a really long rod. What more could they hope for?
After the first year of my mighty rule we see that people love me. Of course they do.
Right. Next year Corazon Simpatico comes and tells me our mighty army of three soldiers has too low salary. I am very confused about this, since I don't pay them in the first place. However, I am a nice person and therefore promise to do something about it. I will double their salary.
The glorious workers of Tropico have finished the fine house on the seashore that I planned myself. See, I told you it would be very nice. But nice housing isn't enough. I know it, because I have a nice house and yet I feel I'm missing something important in my life as El Presidente. You know what this place needs?
More pubs! The people approve. However, my great pub building effort makes the friends of that Jesus person come to my doorstep and complain about sin this and damnation that and blah blah blah. In reality, with my sharp psychology skills I know that they are just jealous because they don't have a place of their own to play in.
I don't really care for it myself, but because I'm El Presidente of all the people, I decide to build them their own playground. I place it in a key place, truly the heart of Tropico.
I also saved them from having to think an appropriate name for the place.
Okay, fundies are happy for a while. I have some time to relax from smoking cigars and drinking booze, so I decide to take a walk in the nearby forest. There a very rude monkey tried to start a revolution of his own and threw me with a coconut. Me! El Presidente! That's it! As my first move in the field of international relations I am proud to announce that people's republic of Tropico is now officially at war with the dictatorship of Monkeystan! We shall triumph!
I start by making those sneaky little bastards fight like men instead of hiding in their trees. Die monkey!
Meanwhile the happy people of Tropico still live in cardboard boxes, so I build them more houses with the same plans. Why fix it if it isn't broken?
Hooray! The first pub of Tropico has officially opened! Celebrations are in order! Now we can finally get this state functioning properly!
I'm so happy that I build the people a way, so they can more easily walk to the pub. I decide to call it "El Presidente's Booze Avenue", because it sounds good.
Then I made an interesting discovery. Apparently as El Presidente I can also decide about laws and such in our fine island. I thought it was very boring but then my El Presidentism For Dummies informed me about Swiss bank accounts and I got interested. So as my first policy I am forced to increase the building costs a little, because the stupid capitalists in America can't protect their dollar (which El Presidente Numero 23 declared as the official currency of Tropico) from inflation. Life is tough.
That silly Corazon Simpatico comes complaining to me again. Frankly I didn't bother to listen this time.
Corazon's cousin Claudio had an accident in work. I had nothing to do with it. Honest.
This here is my diplomatic ministry. I use it to make the world better understand that Tropico is the center of the universe. I just wonder if I should be friend of the Russians or Americans.