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I'm goin' down · 09-12-10, 12:11 AM

My three toy poodles keep me on my toes. My avatar has a gopher rising in the Grass Sea. Actually the Grass Sea is a large very lawn in my yard.

Scout, the most purebread of the boys, has been sniffing a gopher under the lawn's surface. You can tell because he cocks his head, and his tail stands like the quills of a porcupine in the area where he patrols. He has been trenching the lawn for three weeks trying to catch it. If he had left it alone it would not be much of a problem, as I saw only couple of small divits in the lawn. His trenches though are holes in the ground and are about 10" in diameter. Finally, out of desperation, I got my shovel out and started digging up sections of the lawn to find the critter, followed by a 30 minute carbon monoxide gas attack utilizing a 200 foot hose with one end stuffed in the gopher's tunnel and the other attached the exhaust pipe of a truck. I followed that with poison in the tunnels, and traps at the entrances. No signs of the critters in 24 hours. If this fails, then I am am going to get a sonic device which apparently drives the critters off if you plant it nearby.

How can you not love these guys? They guard the yard, chase the mailman, bite the pizza delivery man if he doesn't toss them biscuits, yip in chorus for no fathomable reason, and pee in the kitchen if they are not fed regularly. They refuse to answer when called unless I plead in French or offer them a croissant. Scout is so stupid I think he ate some acid he found on the ground. When it is cold, they sleep on my bed, and when it is hot they lay on the carpet so they catch the rays of the sun shining through the blinds. They refuse to take care of their business in the dirt, and only use the lawn area as it is more suitable to their French sensibilities. And they leave burrs on my couch which end up in my shorts if I am not careful. They require fifty dollar haircut every month, and insist that I pet each of them vigorously at least three times per day. They watch all of the Angelina Jolie movies, and think Jerry Lewis is hilarious and on par with Charlie Chaplin (classic French quality.)

I can understand how someone can miss their faithful companion(s).

09-12-10, 12:11 AM	#33
I'm goin' down Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Notify command we have entered the Grass Sea Posts: 2,822 Downloads: 813 Uploads: 0	spike, skip and scout My three toy poodles keep me on my toes. My avatar has a gopher rising in the Grass Sea. Actually the Grass Sea is a large very lawn in my yard. Scout, the most purebread of the boys, has been sniffing a gopher under the lawn's surface. You can tell because he cocks his head, and his tail stands like the quills of a porcupine in the area where he patrols. He has been trenching the lawn for three weeks trying to catch it. If he had left it alone it would not be much of a problem, as I saw only couple of small divits in the lawn. His trenches though are holes in the ground and are about 10" in diameter. Finally, out of desperation, I got my shovel out and started digging up sections of the lawn to find the critter, followed by a 30 minute carbon monoxide gas attack utilizing a 200 foot hose with one end stuffed in the gopher's tunnel and the other attached the exhaust pipe of a truck. I followed that with poison in the tunnels, and traps at the entrances. No signs of the critters in 24 hours. If this fails, then I am am going to get a sonic device which apparently drives the critters off if you plant it nearby. How can you not love these guys? They guard the yard, chase the mailman, bite the pizza delivery man if he doesn't toss them biscuits, yip in chorus for no fathomable reason, and pee in the kitchen if they are not fed regularly. They refuse to answer when called unless I plead in French or offer them a croissant. Scout is so stupid I think he ate some acid he found on the ground. When it is cold, they sleep on my bed, and when it is hot they lay on the carpet so they catch the rays of the sun shining through the blinds. They refuse to take care of their business in the dirt, and only use the lawn area as it is more suitable to their French sensibilities. And they leave burrs on my couch which end up in my shorts if I am not careful. They require fifty dollar haircut every month, and insist that I pet each of them vigorously at least three times per day. They watch all of the Angelina Jolie movies, and think Jerry Lewis is hilarious and on par with Charlie Chaplin (classic French quality.) I can understand how someone can miss their faithful companion(s). Last edited by I'm goin' down; 09-12-10 at 03:05 AM.