Also depends on what Supermod you run if any. You'll get by with a lot in stock you won't with TMO. The biggest factor is water conditions. If winds are higher you can really get by with a lot. Winds of 15mph I've gone flank without problems.
What Wern said is the most common tactic used, stay silent, when a DD makes a run on you, hit flank. The charges will fall behind and you can slowly work your way out.
The other important thing is time. It varies stock to different mods, but they will only look for you so long if they lost contact, say 30 minutes. If you goof up and let them hear you you'll have to lose contact with them again for that time period for them to leave. Also, the one that picks you up has no problem calling all his buddies back that may have long since left. So if you hear them searching, but making no runs or bad runs, don't let them pick you up if possible, they peg you, timer starts over.
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