Space Ranger Putin will no doubt shoot Mars with a giant space crossbow. The bolt will be attached to a cable woven from adamantium and the sinews and tendons of his enemies. This cable will allow him to tow the planet into Earth's gravitational field, where it will remain in orbit for easier access on future visits.
However he will not actually need the cable, as Mars will be captured by the sheer force of his overpowering charisma and come along quietly.
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