Sorry Skybird but I really think you have it wrong and overstate the case for their irrationality. You don't see the mullah's, the politico's and the generals as suicide bombers, they are the motivators for the propaganda soaked minions with the explosive vest. They did not achieve positions of power by being suicidal, reckless or irrational.
The purpose of power is power and the prospect of total annihilation would serve to rob them of their power. As I stated, they are perfectly rational by their own standards and behave remarkably like despots have always behaved regardless of religion or political system therefore they understand when a threat is real or empty.
If you THINK there is a chance of flipping a bomb at the neighbor and getting away with it once you may be tempted to do it sometime. If you are absolutely CERTAIN that doing so will result in the destruction of all you hold dear you are far less likely to turn that key.
They can huff, puff and strut all they like, if deterrence serves to keep them from first use, their nuclear arsenals have no teeth and merely act as a drain their own resources.
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