[Laughing Swordfish]

With my mouth gaping open, I glanced out of the corner of my eye, Heidi even in her tipsy state, sneaking a look at me over the top of her glass. The look of hope in her eyes was unmistakeable. She knew what we were talking about.

A promotion, more pay, and a safe desk job, perhaps being able to make a difference for our boats, instead of just complaining about things in the ward room, bridge or bar; being close to Heidi every day (how I yearned for that); and I have done my bit haven't I? No more freezing long watches, no more fierce Atlantic sea in your face, soaking you to the bone. No more the general cramped, exhausting and stinking conditions of living on a U-Boat. No more the terror of depth charges, or planes. No more nervous tension of being deep for hours, and constantly having to be right with every guess. No more killing.

An easy life in France instead.

I looked at the photographs on the wall, always more every time we return. For a moment I saw my own graduation picture alongside them.

Then my gaze crossed to the U-46 gang. Dieter wearing a feathered lady's hat from somewhere, arm wrestling with Panwitz, Hans and Viktor trying to get two pretty nurses more drunk than they both were. Bruno leaping off the upstairs balcony to be caught on trust by his Second Watch, Kuki tucking in to a great plate of fresh French food that he hasn't had to cook himself on two little ring burners. Christian arm in arm with Kapitan Lehman swapping tall stories of the sea and swaggering back to the bar. Gerhardt being slapped on his back by his comrades whilst at the same time pouring beer over his head to remind him to get back on Watch next time. Kurt and Johann trying to waltz together and slipping on the wet floor in a muddled heap, and countless other young happy faces, whilst Oscar smoked his pipe and sipped contentedly at his favourite bordeaux, kept only for him when he comes back, and looking on benignly, knowing full well his medical services are sure to be required before the end of the night.

Reuben and Cox, diligently halfway to Hamburg with supplies for a family in hiding

Then there's Willi left manning the boat with a skeleton crew. Good old supersticious Willi, an eagle eye on Third Watch and a genius navigator. Convinced that any change, or deviation from custom will be the death of us all. Perhaps he's right.

And then there's the boat he is guarding itself. The U-46 has been a part of my life it seems as if forever. Noone, apart from Otto, knows more about the Laughing Swordfish than me, and we have been through so much together.

Uncle Karl is waiting patiently for me to speak.

I give him my answer...........

That night Heidi and I had our first serious argument.

LS