Q. Why do brides wear white?
A. You want your dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Let her cook in the dark.
Sondra Locke: What happened to your wife?
Clint Eastwood: I shot her.
SL: Shot her!?!? Why?
CL: Caught her in bed with my best friend.
SL: Did you shoot him too?
CL: No! He was my best friend.
-from Bronco Billy
A Georgia man is in front of the judge for murdering his wife.
Judge: Beauregard, befo' Ah pass sentence Ah would like to ask one question. Why did you shoot yo' wife and not her lover?
Beauregard: Yo' honah, I deemed it bettah to shoot one woman one time, than to shoot a different man evah night.
Judge: Justifiable homicide! Case dismissed!
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“Never do anything you can't take back.”
—Rocky Russo
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