Self knowledge is the first precondition for personal improvment. I do not judge wether what you say about her is true, or just a theory of yours. It's enough to know that all this reasoning - especially the reasoning about yourself - is and necessarily must be the basis of your future acting - wether it will be in good or bad is up to you.
"True warriors know the only battlefield where victory counts, lies within them." 
Just a phrase from a TV series. But it is true.
