Well this is a bit harder than i previously anticipated. I have been up 30 hours straight and hade to force feed myself lunch today since I never ate yesterday. Oddly enough I dont feel to bad physicaly but emotionally I am pretty gutted. It would be easier If I had closure but she keeps talking in women tongue. She came by today for her last few bits of things and started to cry and said part of her wants to stay but she feels like if she didnt leave that she would never leave and she didnt want to look back and regret not leaving. I asked her what if she leaves and regrets not staying? You can spin it either way. But I do understand that she felt we were going nowhere with her working two jobs and me looking for 1 for almost a year.
She explained that she knows she loves me and knows that she is in love with me but the guilt was too much and that pushed her to continue the move out instead of working it out and that she wants to be single and not date anybody for awhile while she works on her self. I told her I was okay with her dating the other guy just let me know so I can emotionally let go and she denied any interest in him outside of friendship. Sadly I do believe her as at this point she had nothing more to lose. I dunno its a tough ship to sail even my old mom started crying her eyes out when she left today as she was very loved in this house and was like family to her.
Well sleep soon is in order, It sucks that healing has to be so loooooong when emotionally raped.
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