What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do you say to a drummer in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."
A bass player and a drummer are driving out through the country late one afternoon when their Microbus overheats and stalls. Trapped in the middle of nowhere, the bass player and the drummer walk through a large field up to the steps of a quaint farmhouse. The farmer walks out on the porch, followed by his very attractive daughter, and asks, "Can I help you boys?"
The drummer says, "Yeah, our car broke down. Can we use your phone to call a tow truck?"
The farmer replies, "Well, I don't have a phone and the nearest mechanic is in town about a hundred miles away. I could take you boys in the morning if you don't mind waiting till then."
"I guess that's all we can do," says the bass player, staring at the daughter. "Do you have somewhere we can stay?"
"Well," the farmer replies, "I only have two beds in the house: one is mine and one is my daughter's. You could sleep in with her if that's okay with you."
"That would be fine," the bass player answers immediately.
That night, the drummer and the bass player are both in bed with the daughter. She rolls over to them and says, "Hey, you guys wanna have some fun?" They look at each other and say, "Yeah, why not?"
"Okay then," the girl says, "but put these on so I don't get pregnant."
Three weeks later, the drummer and the bass player are back home jamming in their garage. The bass player turns to the drummer and says, "Hey, do you really care if that girl gets pregnant?"
The drummer replies, "No, I guess not."
The bass player says, "Good, neither do I. I'm gonna take this damn thing off!"
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