[August]

Cleaning the Outhouse

Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living on a hardscrabble West Virginia farm way back up in the hills.

One day Pa notices that the hole under their outhouse is full so he goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."

So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full and I don't know what to do to empty it."

The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse n the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole..."

Well Pa thanks the neighbor then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse as instructed. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse, then lights them and quickly takes cover behind a nearby tree.

All of a sudden Ma bursts out of the house and runs straight into the outhouse before Pa can warn her! Seconds later BOOM!, off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. Then WHAM!, off goes the second stick of dynamite ... spreading poop all over the farm.

The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole..... Horrified Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Great Horny Toads, Ma, are you all right??!!" Ma smiles as she pulls up her panties and says... "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't let that fart out in the kitchen!".