I started off playing SH4, but since I haven't been able to play more than a little bit since my computer is old, for me SH4 still has that kind of 'mysterious' appeal, I guess. Other reasons are that, well, I'm American, and my grandfather served in the USN as a submariner. (Not that I like SH3 anyless because of all that, but SH4 holds more appeal for those reasons)
Gameplay wise, one thing I definitely think is improved since SH3 is
AUTOMATIC CREW MANAGEMENT
but aside from that I can't really say much else about it, aside from the fact that it looks gorgeous.
SH3 definitely has some well-polished mods, and as everyone else has said, the challenge goes up as the war goes on.
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