U-46 chugs endlessly across the North Sea
Nothing to see in any direction. I suppose that will soon change
We are lounging in the wardroom, half listening to routine conversation from the Control Room, when the coxswain appears with young Muller, the most junior of the ratings. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat, and the twinkle in his eye makes even Otto put his engineering manual down
This should be good
"Beg to report, Herr Kaleun, a serious breach of naval discipline!"
"What on earth can it be?" I keep my side of it up with something like a straight face
"This miserable specimen has gone 17 years without shaving. Only today I have detected this bum fluff on his chin." (Conveniently forgetting the two days of stubble on his or our own sea-reddened faces)
"Hmmm"
There are indeed a a few tiny wisps of hair breaking through
"Get the medic here, I'd better hear his judgement"
The poor boy is twisting his cap nervously in his hands
"I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't mean, .... it's just that...."
"Quiet boy!" joins in Otto with mock solemnity. "Let's have the Doc take a look at you. Where would we be if this sort of thing was allowed to go on!"
Oscar comes in and studies the offending chin, scratching his head owlishly.
"Definitely a case of failing to shave on active duty. It's the Barber's Chair for you , my lad!"
Muller is gleefully sat down on a crate of cabbages by two burly seamen who are in on it.
Oscar, who's brother is in the paratroopers and has loads of little souvenirs as a result, brandishes an old belgian bayonet, and makes a great show of sharpening it
"Cover his eyes!"
While the terrified Muller is blindfolded, and soap and water applied none too gently to his face, Oscar swaps the bayonet for his own razor (one of the few on board who bother to bring one - but he's the medic)
A couple of deft strokes. The razor disappears and the bayonet is back in his hand before the lads whip the blindfold off
"Here Lad, keep this. You're a proper seaman now, but no more shaving until we're home"
Muller's young face is now beaming with pride. We can hear the laughter and back-slapping in the fore-ends for quite a while
The First Lieutenant, not much older himself, rolls his eyes.
"We'd better find a ship soon, before we all go crazy....."
Lt de Bunsen, U-46
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