SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - View Single Post - What can we possible expect for SH5 after release

John Channing · 01-30-10, 02:50 PM

The following takes place betwen 12 pm and 11 am.

Events happen in real time:

12:00- 13:00: Excited posts from people who have bought it and are pleased

13:00-14:00: Confused posts from people who didn't RTFM

14:00 -15:00: Snotty posts from people who didn't buy the game to protect Truth, Justice and the American Way

15:00-16:00: Angry posts from people who did buy the game and object to the former

16:00-18:00: Snotty answers to questions from 13:00 from people who also didn't RTFM

18:00-19:00: First CTD and call for boycott

19:00-20:00: Posts explaining that CTD was because they were downloading 35 files from Rapidshare at the same
time so it may not be the games fault after all. Boycott temporarily halted.

20:00-21:00: First post saying they can't find the Type II or Type IX that the Devs promised. Pandemonium breaks out. Boycott resumes.

21:00-22:00: Europe weighs in with exuberant "first look" posts

22:00-23:00: Europe revises their opinions to "THIS GAME IS THE SUX0RS"

23:00-24:00: Dan weighs in with the news that there will be a patch. Several replies ask "Will it remove DRM?". No answer. More Pandemonium, but more reserved (North America is asleep by this time). Dan's body is never found.

24:00-1:00: First threat of a lawsuit.

1:00-2:00: Several posts state how much they are actually enjoying the game. Posters are rapidly beaten to death.

2:00-3:00: Internet Lawyer agrees to take the Class Action Suit as long as everyone sends $500 to his Nigerian Bank Account. Amazingly several people think this is a good idea.

3:00-4:00: Unexplained Subsim server outage (Neal need sleep, must have sleep)

4:00-5:00: Subsim server back up. Pandemonium reigns supreme. First poster asks where he can illegally download the game. A loud sobbing sound from direction of Texas drowns out response.

5:00-6:00: First Mod appears. Goofy looking guy in periscope is gone forever. Some cheering, more threats of Boycotts.

6:00-7:00: First post of the day asking if it's true you have to be connected to the internet to play. Neal and the Moderators just turn their computers off.

7:00-8:00: First report of being dropped out because of a lost internet connection. Internet Lawyer's head asplodes. Boycotters are now Boycotting the Boycott in favor of a much bigger Boycott.

8:00-9:00: Turns out that poster who lost the connection was playing on a 33K dial-up. Conversation rapidly changes to one about "Protecting our Freedom". RDP keeps asking "Will no one think of the CHILDREN", but he is largely ignored.

9:00-10:00: Channing logs on and starts lecturing people (in a most sarcastic manner) about how "in MY day we had to play computer games with Boot Discs and had to know to rewrite config files just to get them running". As soon as it is discovered that he hasn't bought SHV yet, he is beaten to death.

10:00-11:00: Three clear sides have now formed... one that likes the game, one that won't buy it on principle and one that bought it and can't figure out manual targeting. Everyone beats everyone else to death.

11:00-12:00: Silent Hunter VI announced. This is immediately followed by demands for certain features the were present in "Aces of the Deep" and subsequently dropped from every other game ever made, as well as demands for Screen Shots, Videos and Producer Notes. Last post on Subsim asks if anyone knows the release date.

Server melts

　
Lather, rinse, repeat.
　
JCC

01-30-10, 02:50 PM	#11
John Channing Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 1998 Posts: 1,846 Downloads: 163 Uploads: 5	Tick.... tick...tick..tick.tickticktictictictictitititititi tiiiiiikkkk The following takes place betwen 12 pm and 11 am. Events happen in real time: 12:00- 13:00: Excited posts from people who have bought it and are pleased 13:00-14:00: Confused posts from people who didn't RTFM 14:00 -15:00: Snotty posts from people who didn't buy the game to protect Truth, Justice and the American Way 15:00-16:00: Angry posts from people who did buy the game and object to the former 16:00-18:00: Snotty answers to questions from 13:00 from people who also didn't RTFM 18:00-19:00: First CTD and call for boycott 19:00-20:00: Posts explaining that CTD was because they were downloading 35 files from Rapidshare at the same time so it may not be the games fault after all. Boycott temporarily halted. 20:00-21:00: First post saying they can't find the Type II or Type IX that the Devs promised. Pandemonium breaks out. Boycott resumes. 21:00-22:00: Europe weighs in with exuberant "first look" posts 22:00-23:00: Europe revises their opinions to "THIS GAME IS THE SUX0RS" 23:00-24:00: Dan weighs in with the news that there will be a patch. Several replies ask "Will it remove DRM?". No answer. More Pandemonium, but more reserved (North America is asleep by this time). Dan's body is never found. 24:00-1:00: First threat of a lawsuit. 1:00-2:00: Several posts state how much they are actually enjoying the game. Posters are rapidly beaten to death. 2:00-3:00: Internet Lawyer agrees to take the Class Action Suit as long as everyone sends $500 to his Nigerian Bank Account. Amazingly several people think this is a good idea. 3:00-4:00: Unexplained Subsim server outage (Neal need sleep, must have sleep) 4:00-5:00: Subsim server back up. Pandemonium reigns supreme. First poster asks where he can illegally download the game. A loud sobbing sound from direction of Texas drowns out response. 5:00-6:00: First Mod appears. Goofy looking guy in periscope is gone forever. Some cheering, more threats of Boycotts. 6:00-7:00: First post of the day asking if it's true you have to be connected to the internet to play. Neal and the Moderators just turn their computers off. 7:00-8:00: First report of being dropped out because of a lost internet connection. Internet Lawyer's head asplodes. Boycotters are now Boycotting the Boycott in favor of a much bigger Boycott. 8:00-9:00: Turns out that poster who lost the connection was playing on a 33K dial-up. Conversation rapidly changes to one about "Protecting our Freedom". RDP keeps asking "Will no one think of the CHILDREN", but he is largely ignored. 9:00-10:00: Channing logs on and starts lecturing people (in a most sarcastic manner) about how "in MY day we had to play computer games with Boot Discs and had to know to rewrite config files just to get them running". As soon as it is discovered that he hasn't bought SHV yet, he is beaten to death. 10:00-11:00: Three clear sides have now formed... one that likes the game, one that won't buy it on principle and one that bought it and can't figure out manual targeting. Everyone beats everyone else to death. 11:00-12:00: Silent Hunter VI announced. This is immediately followed by demands for certain features the were present in "Aces of the Deep" and subsequently dropped from every other game ever made, as well as demands for Screen Shots, Videos and Producer Notes. Last post on Subsim asks if anyone knows the release date. Server melts 　 Lather, rinse, repeat. 　 JCC Last edited by John Channing; 01-31-10 at 03:35 PM.