Another thing to remember is: just beacouse they are pinging you dosen't mean they know where you are; hell even if they are droping depth charges it still dosen't mean they know where you are, though that is a good indication. I have been "attacked" for about an hour and was never in any danger of geting hit beacouse the escorts were attacking empty water about 1km from my position untill they ran out of ammo and got bord. The stealth meter is a little decieving to, just beacouse that bugger is red dosen't mean that they have found you it only means they will find you with greater ease.
At 23% realism you probly have free use of the camera controls exploit that to your full advantage. If you hit the "." key it will give you a external camera view that is locked on your boat and at parascope depth you can rotate the camera so you can see the ships up top and if they are coming to kill you. You can also use that meathod when deeper and trying to dodge depth charge attacks durring the day, at night it gets hard to see them. Useing that one game feature I was able to learn how best to avoid attacks and I highly recomend it to people strugleing with the same problems, and once you get the hang of it you can turn it off.
Plus as others have pointed out geting out ahead of yoru target far enuf that you can get into attack position and leting them come to you while you just sit there is a far easyer way of geting close enuf to a target that is gaurded. As they say, "Low and underhanded meathods might not look good but no one will remember how awsome your failed head long attack looked."
Happy hunting.
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