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Old 01-17-10, 01:25 AM   #9
I'm goin' down
Ocean Warrior
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Notify command we have entered the Grass Sea
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Default don't get washed overboard

for those subsim captains that enjoy a "dip" in the ocean in between task forces, here is how to minimize shark attacks.


Swim, surf, or dive with other crew members, so they will be attacked before you, and don’t move too far away from the crew on deck with life preservers. And,
  1. Stay out of the water at dawn, dusk, and night, when some species of sharks may move inshore to feed. Sleep inside the submarine when possible, and avoid skinny dipping at midnight just to piss the captain off.
  2. Do not abandon ship or enter the water if you have open wounds or are bleeding in any way. Sharks can detect blood and body fluids in extremely small concentrations.
  3. Avoid murky waters, swimming in Japanese harbor entrances, and areas near stream mouths (especially after heavy rains), channels, or steep drop offs. These types of waters are known to be frequented by sharks.
  4. Do not wear high-contrast clothing, gold necklaces, war medals, or shiny dog tags. Sharks see contrast very well. Let the officers go in first.
  5. Refrain from excessive splashing; keep the boat's mascot, which swims erratically, out of the water. Sharks are known to be attracted to such activity.
  6. Do not permit your skipper to let the boat sink if sharks are known to be present, and leave the water quickly and calmly if one is sighted. Do not provoke or harass a shark, or sing the refrain from "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me!" when sharks are in the vicinity, even small ones.
  7. If fish or turtles start to behave erratically, get the hell out of the water. Be alert to the presence of dolphins, as they are prey for some large sharks.
  8. Remove speared fish from the water or tow them a safe distance behind you. Do not swim near crew memebers fishing or spearfishing. Stay away from dead people in the water.
  9. Swim or surf at beaches patrolled by lifeguards, and follow their advice unless they are on the cast of Baywatch.
  10. Do not ask a Great White to open his mouth and say "Ahhh!" when checking to see if it has a sore throat.
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