Jumpy, so sorry to hear about your situation.
To echo what others have said somewhat, you do need to - at some point - get to the place where you can see your future without her, because no matter how it feels right now, you do have one.
That said, it takes time. So let it. Every loss comes with a period of grieving and all the anger, sadness, and other feelings that are a natural part of it, but they are temporary no matter how improbable that seems in the short term.
Throwing things like clinical depression and other mental health issues only makes it more difficult, because a person suffering from those problems can really do a number on you by yanking you back and forth - one day yes, one day no, til you don't know where you stand or what to do or if maybe just letting go and walking away is the only thing you can do to preserve your own sanity. I'll just say, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, so believe me I feel your pain. And it's really hard because you know that the person doing the yanking is in the midst of their own struggles and really can't do any better by you, even if they want to.
Anyway - nothing here that you can't get from a million other friendly, meddling advice-givers - but do take care of yourself and hang in there.
