I think the answer frankly is balancing out all the sides. Don't spoil them, yet don't starve them either. Give them lots of love, but also lots of discipline. If they want something, make them earn it.
Frankly I think kids today are coddled and spoiled way to much, and utterly lack in discipline. I also think daycare and both parents working is problematic as well. I feel this is what is creating people who only care about themselves, and feel entitled to everything, since many of them have been given what ever they wanted, for no effort on their part.
Look at the stuff kids are running around with today: blackberries, iPods, iPhones, etc. I love watching them in class and on the bus furiously texting each other, like what they are doing is the most important thing in the entire universe. My mom likes to call them the "me and more" generation, its all about me, and me wants more more more (doesn't matter what just as long as it is more).
Sure these kids can be goal driven, but their drive stems entirely from pure greed. Which I think has been brought on by a society of rampant consumerism. We have been bombarded by advertising, telling us we need to buy all of this crap, and people are doing just that.
Btw the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything is 42
