August 1936
Cart before the horse
The Panzer tanks rumbled through the streets of Cottbus, sending horses, chickens and children scattering before them in alarm and surprise. They stopped at the crossroads and General Hoth got out to consult his map.
"Nein...what is this? This is a map of Stalingrad!"
A Kubelwagon drove up alongside the lead Panzer and Field-Marshall Guderian got out. Hoth saluted his superior officer and tried to hide the map.
"General, what is this?!" demanded Guderian, pointing down the column of tanks and vehicles.
"Erm...a tank, Herr Field-Marshall!"
"NOT THAT! That!" Guderian stabbed his finger at the anti-aircraft gun which sat on a trailer behind the lead Panzer.
"Ah...that...Die Fuhrer ordered it put on."
Guderian sighed and facepalmed.
"Take it off, Hoth."
"Huh? But...Herr Hitler..."
Guderian shook his head.
"I'll deal with Herr Hitler...military specialist my backside. No wonder the Russians keep kicking his arse."
Hoth saluted again as Guderian climbed back into his Kubelwagon.
"Oh...and Hoth?"
"Ja wohl Herr Field-Marshall?"
"Kolkwitz is that way."
The Kubelwagon sped off, leaving Hoth staring at his useless map, before rushing to get the Anti-aircraft brigades detached and sent home before continuing on to Kolkwitz.
Meanwhile, in the Kubelwagon Guderian turned to his aide.
"Klaus, make a note to replace those useless AA brigades with Self-Propelled Artillery."
"Self-what, Herr Field-Marshall?"
"Self-Pro...ah...schiesse...we haven't researched it yet..."