Yeah stupid game engine!
I had the same experience. And did the following:
Next time I wrote down my crew members name on a piece of paper. "The old fashioned way" LOL. I cannot know all my crew members by name ... furthermore almost all sailors have the same face :rotfl:
A bit strange that you cannot give it after patrol, but at least I was able to give the guy the wounded medal because I wrote the name and use SH3 Commander.