The Stealth Meter is just that: an indicator of how noisy you are being. It doesn't necessarily mean they have your exact location, or that they've even found you - just that you are agressively inviting them to.
What other mods are you using? A long time ago there was a mod called 'Real Depth Charge', and I think a lot of the supermods use the same parameters.
See, in the stock game depth charges could kill you almost instantly. Then someone discovered that the kill radius was set at 25 meters and the damage radius at 75, or something similar. Now they are set at roughly 8 and 20 meters respectively, or fairly close to those. The reality was that some boats were depth-charged for hours and only took minimal damage, while everyone knew that just one in the right spot might kill you instantly.
Now, in the game, that is possible. Yes, you should get a lot of shaking and minimal damage - at least until that one lucky (or unlucky, depending on POV) hit nails you.
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“Never do anything you can't take back.”
—Rocky Russo
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