In honor of ABC handing over it's network programming to the Obama administration to tout government-run health care, we offer the Top 10 new shows in ABC's upcoming fall lineup:
10. Survivor--Detroit: Reality show pitting teams of corporate executives against each other in various challenges set up by the Obama administration. Watch CEOs squirm as administration officials tempt them with bailout funds, threaten various levels of government intervention and ownership, and seek to place limits on salaries and perks! And don’t forget the council meetings and snuffing out torches. The last team standing gets the least government control and ownership
9. ACORN-ucopia: Ever wonder what it’s like to be a real community organizer? Here’s your chance! During each episode, you can follow ACORN representatives as they misuse federal grants they should never have received in the first place, teach illegal immigrants how to vote undetected, manufacture census numbers, collude with union organizers and maximize spending by showing everyone how to take advantage of all the benefits the government makes available through redundant programs.
8. Biden’s Bitchin' Bloopers: When politicians are around, there is no shortage of gaffes, bloopers and pure stupidity. VPOTUS Joe Biden hosts this laff-fest where there’s no doubt he’ll add his own new gaffes live on the air!
7. C.S.I. Waziristan: Docudrama featuring American troops investigating crimes on the battlefields of Afghanistan by collecting evidence according to proper procedures, interrogating enemy combatants after giving Miranda warnings, trying while under sniper fire to obtain warrants from federal judges to search enemy camps, and other crime-fighting activities to ensure terrorists have full access to their constitutional rights. The events are real and so is the mortar fire.
6. Supreme Dodgeball: Join Judge Sonia Sotomayor as she navigates the obstacle course set up for the SCOTUS confirmation process, and attempts to dodge her numerous controversial and race-baited comments of her past. Each new episode will feature half-hearted explanations and exciting shoulder shrugs from Press Secretary Robert Gibbs!
5. The Amazing Race Disgrace: Obama diplomats and key fundraisers set out on a trip around the world stopping in numerous countries where they perform various tasks that include apologizing for and criticizing America, morally equating our country with ruthless despotic regimes, and flagellating America’s history and the performance of her troops, in order to appease those who hate us. The winner gets nominated to serve as Ambassador to the United Nations.
4. What Not To Wear: Fashion plate Michelle Obama counsels dignitaries and world leaders on all things style, fashion and grace. Scheduled guests include Queen Elizabeth II, Carla Bruni, and Barney Frank.
3. It’s the Porky Pig Show!: Hey kids! Do you like getting everything you want without having to pay for it? Then you’ll love this show! Watch Barack Obama, Harry Reid, John Murtha, Chris Dodd, Robert Byrd, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner and all their madcap liberal buddies in D.C. spend money like there’s no tomorrow, often with hilarious (frequently frightening) results! Parental guidance is suggested.
2. (White) House, M.D.: Ted Kennedy stars as a socialist bureaucrat and crusty, unconventional medical genius charged with overhauling the nation’s health care system. He often clashes with medical professionals, hospitals and groups that actually deliver the care, because many of his solutions on how to fix the system are based on controversial ideas like government control, rationing, abortion on-demand at any stage and trying to drive patients to the hospital in his own car to save treatment costs.
And the number 1 new show on ABC’s fall TV lineup? 1. 24/7: Follow every move President Obama and his administration make in real time (complete with ticking digital clock!) to undo all of the evil America has caused in the world for the last 233 years, fix the mess that was caused exclusively by presidential predecessor Dick Cheney and his puppet George W. Bush, come up with new and exciting ways to tax and spend our way to prosperity and growth, and suck up to terrorists. No waterboarding or stooping to Jack Bauer’s level required.
|